i've never been anything interesting. i'm simply not interesting. i'm kinda boring, actually. i'm not special. everyone who blogs is special. i'm not. i think of myself as a nobody sometimes. i feel like i'm not interesting. that everyone is just a number on blogger.
but we're not.
i'm not 80, i'm meena. i hate how i thought about being a number. i used to judge myself because i was different. because i followed these people, with big hopes-- and that would never happen to me. everyone has something unique about themselves. like, they're in a family of 10, or they are professional photographers who earn at least $1000 every two months from photo sessions. i'm in a family of four. i earn $0 every two months from photo sessions.
but i'm pretty sure i'm okay with that. i am okay with that. i'm nothing interesting, but it's awesome that you guys think i am.
um.... i feel kind of stupid sometimes. thinking that i could be this big blogger, and be friends with some of the big bloggers i follow. i try acting like it, but i end up making them uncomfortable. none of the bloggers i want to be friends with, like the ones that i'm not already friends with, want to be my friend.
i want to find my place in this blogging world, but right now-- i'm being shot back into an alley. i'm in the back of the line for everything. and everyone's moving forward but me.
Don't say that! You are so amazing. Remember God is always there for you.
ReplyDeleteI feel the exact same way Meena.
ReplyDeleteBut honestly you inspire me. You and your blog does. Why, I even put you in a list of my top five (or less) blogs that inspire me in a post on my blog. :)
You're beyond amazing, trust me.
hugs and kisses
Mackenzie
Meena,
ReplyDeleteyou are such a sweetheart! although i don't ever comment, i really enjoy reading your posts. seeing your precious blog's name show up in my news feed. you make me smile every time. :)
i want you to know that you're not the only one who feels like they can't find their place in the blogging world. actually, i think we all feel like that at times. even the biggest, most popular bloggers.
i have a lot of people emailing me and commenting to me about how they think i'm always moving forward and becoming bigger and better all the time.
emotionally and spiritually i think i am, but as a blogger who sticks her heart out on the line every day, i'm not.
i don't try to be a perfect blogger. which i think the majority of the big bloggers try way too hard to do these days. they write about how good they're getting at taking photos, but they don't ever tell me how they're doing in their walk with God. and somewhere along the way, the realness of the blogger they used to be gets lost. it's really sad to me.
it's all about being real. even if you don't have two hundred comments on a single post or a couple thousand followers.
i love reading your words because you are vulnerable and genuine and always real every time! never fake or phony. you're honest and true. and i love that about you! don't ever stop being that way.
you are such a beautiful, sweet young lady and i'd love to get to know you better! we should talk more often.
stay strong, gorgeous!! i love you bunches. <3
blessings,
hannah
I agree with Hannah. sometimes you can feel like you're nothing interesting, but it's not true. keep your head up! ;)
ReplyDelete